Heartbreak is a scary thing. It hides in the back of our minds, even in our happiest moments; it leaves cuts so deep that we feel as if we’ll never heal. And, against all odds, when we do – it leaves behind its telltale scars. Scars we can carry with us throughout a lifetime, regardless of whatever love and light we find in this world.
Believe it or not, heartbreak does come with its own silver lining. For one, nothing changes us and shapes our path more than losing someone we love. When we’re tied to another soul, it’s so easy to lose ourselves, our dreams, desires and wishes in that other person. Heartbreak sets us free in the cruelest sense; we are our own masters, free to go and do and love (and suffer) as we please. There’s an eerie type of peace in just letting it all go.
After being in a long term relationship, it’s a pretty foreign thought to realize I can do whatever I want. We can take off to Europe for a week, stay out all night, go eat at the restaurant we secretly love but our ex hated, sleep in all day or get up early, go teach English in another country for a year. The possibilities are endless. And no matter how much you want to melt into your couch, you have to take advantage of this – it’s how you heal.
What I’ve learned is that going through a break up has several phases, which are unique to every individual and situation. We all know them too well – the crazy/party phase, the depressed/constantly crying phase, the I hate everyone don’t touch me phase. The only way to heal is to let yourself go through the process without judgment and self-depreciation, embrace the changes, and learn your lessons along the way. I promise that you will learn more about yourself than you ever could have imagined as you let the heartbroken process take over.
Take a breath, open your mind, and spread your wings. It does get better.