For females, trust is one of the hardest – if not the hardest – part of being in a relationship. Our daddies raised us to think that men are pigs and only want to get in our pants. We all have that one guy friend that has tried to cheat with us repeatedly even though he has an awesome girlfriend. We all have that one friend that refuses to admit the glaring red flags that her man’s a cheating skeez. We all have a friend/coworker/acquaintance that was in a seemingly perfect relationship, or even marriage, that discovered that – gasp! – Prince Charming was a sleezeball all along. Even worse, some of us have been cheated on; and that makes trusting you monumentally more challenging than it already is. Most of us perceive guys as at least somewhat predatory and untrustworthy; you’re guilty until proven innocent because you’re one of them.
Social media, of course, is no friend to any girlfriend on the planet. Instagram, Facebook, & Twitter mean that there’s an endless sea of other bitches you could fuck us over with. In the not-so-old days, we could check up on your texts or calls or at least be confident that if you live with us (or spend a lot of time with us) then we know you’re being faithful. But social media means that you could be living some 007 double life. You could be totally loyal and faithful and awesome to us in person, but be some tech-whore pimp daddy out there in twitterland. And most of you lock up your phones like Fort Knox or have them glued to your left pocket so that we can’t even do routine investigations to gauge our suspicions while you’re in the bathroom.
This means that cheating – or at least seeking attention elsewhere – is so possible you could do it right in front of our faces and tell us you’re texting your mom. We know this; and we really can’t stop thinking about it. It’s not that women are overly jealous, insecure, or untrusting; it’s that we have overwhelming reason to be suspicious, jealous, and untrusting of you and your stupid phone. We have to trust you on our own accord, not because of hard evidence that we should. We have to follow our hearts and our heads to let you into our lives.
Trust is a tough thing because it’s complicated. On one hand, we trust or don’t trust you based on your character, actions, and track record. If you’re a great guy and treat us well – or at least do your best – than it’s easier to stop ourselves from snooping through your phone (and laptop….and iPad.) Trust is based in two things; our confidence in you as a partner, and our confidence in ourselves as a woman and our ability to keep you.
If you want your girl’s trust, be trustworthy and build up her confidence in the relationship; her intelligence, sense of humor, her beauty. Also, try not to be an idiot; most of the time, we think you’re cheating after you don’t answer your phone for four hours because you’re either (a) sleeping, (b) playing COD, (c) doing something with your friends or (d) your phone’s dead because, once again, you forgot the charger we bought you so that this wouldn’t happen. Try to get it together, guys; if we really love you, we’ll give you plenty of opportunity for you to prove yourself to us. After all, we want to trust you just as much as you want us to.